Mike Pence is a Joke
Mike Pence looks like a G.I. Joe trained in hand-to-hand abstinence.
Every time Pence goes on television, he looks like he’s going to outlaw the X-Men.
Mike Pence is a joke without a punchline that you really want to punch.
Mike Pence doesn’t believe in evolution because his policies haven’t evolved in 4,000 years.
Mike Pence isn’t in the KKK because he thinks all sheets are sexual.
Mike Pence hitched a ride on Noah’s Arc as a barnacle.
Eve came from Adam’s rib and Mike Pence came from Adam’s ass.
Mike Pence looks like he escaped a White Supremacy Lego set.
The fly that landed on Mike Pence is on life support after all the shit it ate.
Mike Pence looks like a Mormon Red Skull trying to fight science.
The difference between Norman Bates and Mike Pence is that Norman runs a small business and Mike wants to fuck them.
If Mike Pence had a building erected in his name, it’d be a parking garage.
If Mike Pence were in Oz, he’d be a wax figure looking for a conscience.
If Mike Pence were in Nazi Germany, he’d be himself.
Mike Pence looks like a jar of mayonnaise gone rogue.
In a Footloose sequel, Mike Pence would be the president trying to ban dancing nationwide.
Mike Pence would advocate for hurricane relief if the storms had men’s names.
Mike Pence looks like a Terminator sent from the future to stop WAP.
Mike Pence is the kinda guy who declines Dr. Pepper because it’s too spicy.
Mike Pence is one O’Doul’s away from a drunken bender.
Mike Pence is the kind of person who likes to iron their blue jeans.
Mike Pence watches black and white films for the white part.
Mike Pence grew up segregating his Easter eggs.
Mike Pence refuses to acknowledge America’s pastime so long as the players can get past first base.
Mike Pence probably wonders why only olive oil can be an extra virgin.
The only revelations Mike Pence ever had was in an illustrated bible.
Mike Pence looks like a Blue Lives Matter limited edition Ken Doll.
The only thing Pence wants the government to regulate is rock and roll.
Mike Pence is the first-ever person to graduate from remedial Sunday School.
Mike Pence wants to rename Christmas to Christmore.
Mike Pence thinks The Handmaid’s Tale is a documentary.
Mike Pence comes from a proud line of Jesus-loving anti-semites.
Mike Pence is a joke that isn’t funny anymore. Vote the monster out of office along with Trump, the proud sinner he’s totally okay with.